So I had to break the news to Mama that I broke up with my boyfriend. She HATES break ups and considers even the laziest serial killer to be a perfect match for me. (What I mean by lazy serial killer, is I don’t think it would bother her if he had a few body parts hanging out of the back of his truck. Or like maybe he forgot to chop up the body.) Anyway, I digress… So I tried a new tactic and said well I would tell you what happened since you asked, but I doubt you would understand. She immediately is trying to understand now…she is so oppositional she can’t help herself. So I tell her the story and she is silent. I say, “Well I figured you wouldn’t get it.” And Mama says (drumroll please….) ” I get it that you think he is not the one for you. But its a shame because hes so good-looking and makes good money.” That’s right, Ladies and Gents, never-you-mind how he treats me. The important things in life are looks and money.
Reminds me of a joke about a Southern Belle :
SB1: Hey I came over to show you this beautiful bracelet my Daddy gave me. He taught me how to pick out the finest diamonds.
SB2: *Rocking on the front porch and fanning herself* Well, how nice.
SB1: And look at that gorgeous new mercedes he bought me! My Daddy spoils me. he taught me how to drive that car just like a race car driver.
SB2: Well, how nice.
SB1: So what did your Daddy teach you?
SB2: My Daddy taught me good manners and especially how to say “Well, how nice.” when you really want to say “Fuck You.”
Apparently. I deserve whoever I can get no matter how they treat me as long as they are gorgeous and rich.
Well, how nice.