Christmas Nightmare

I have given it a day before posting the Christmas nightmare. Mama was up at 4 AM (she never needs sleep..like a Vampire.) The day started as terribly as Christmas Eve had been: “You don’t have any caffeinated coffee”. “I don’t know how you stand it so cold in here all of the time.”, “I had to be up at 4 so I could cook breakfast. These delightful conversation starters were followed by her not telling me that my baby was awake, so I missed him seeing his gifts for the first time (Mama: “I know how you love your sleep.) I wasn’t asleep, I was in my room avoiding criticism.

The kids had an amazing time and loved their gifts. I opened mine and oh my, what a disaster. Mama has this thing she does where she buys me clothes several sizes too big to imply that I am fat. (She is larger than me.) So everything she bought was an extra large or an XXL, even though I wear a medium. Mama also bought me orange clothes, which, she knows is a color that does not flatter my shade of red hair. I didn’t flinch. I just said “Thank you” and moved on. She bought me a camera, but not the one I asked for (which was inexpensive.) Mama: “Your brother says that consumer reports rated this one the best. And you have to keep it in a case, not just throw it around like you do everything else.”

We ate our breakfast casserole and my son complained that he wouldn’t be getting a real Christmas dinner. That’s when all Hell broke loose. My ex called and asked for the kids early because he was cooking at his girlfriend’s parents’ home. I thought it was a fabulous idea because it meant my kids had a chance for a normal Christmas Dinner. (My parents did not see it that way, at all.)

I don’t know what happened, but somewhere between the “You’re a piece of crap” messages, the fact my kids had to leave me to have a normal day and the stress of a holiday, I broke down. I told my parents it was time for them to go and I packed up all their food and put it in their car. I am proud of myself for being calm while Mama screamed and yelled. The baby hid under a pillow on the sofa and my oldest laid in the floor and cried. It was beyond disturbing to see my babies in such distress. I took a tranquilizer and went to bed to sleep for 5 hours. I have not spoken to them since that incident. My Dad keeps calling me, but I really don’t want to talk. I wish I had something funny to write or something funny to say, but being the family scape goat for passive-aggressive Moms just sucks. No sugar-coating that bitter pill. I told her to take her resentment to someone else on the next holiday, I want no part of it.

Christmas Eve..And I’m Out of Eggnog!

So, Mama announces that she and My Dad are coming to MY house to spend the night for Christmas Eve. Never asks if  I have plans. My Mama is angry in a passive aggressive way and has basically been ignoring me for weeks. I would say that our relationship is almost back to rock bottom again. I think it will never recover. So, Christmas Eve she is staying at my house and the plan was Christmas lunch at her house. 

Did someone say plan? Well, after being avoided all day, my son decides to take matters into his own hands. He gets on his bike and rides to my brother and White Trash Barbie’s house. My son discovers that my parents are there and not answering his calls. At 7:45 PM, Mama shows up asking why I didn’t cook her a dinner. (Earlier in the day, she told me she was bringing food.) Mama immediately starts bitching about dinner. I pointed out numerous times that I had cooked BBQ pork, mac-n-cheese and baked beans. This is when she informs me that she wanted a real Christmas meal because she was only cooking breakfast tomorrow. I can only assume that the change in attitude is related to her visit with my brother and WTB.

Mama is at my house 10 minutes and starts throwing away EVERYTHING IN THE FREEZER! I just went to Sam’s Wholesale, but never you mind that pesky fact. Bronze Goddess is angry and needs control, so today it is the freezer. I have lots of new Mama-isms that I kept special for y’all…as a gift of sorts:

Mama : “This freezer is disgusting, I can tell you have just totally let it go for months or longer.”

SJ: Ok. Well (my ex-boyfriend) and I just cleaned it out.

Mama: (To my 2 year old son…after I told him he can’t dig in the freezer anymore) “I am going to put all the food you are looking for in the front so you don’t have to dig to feed yourself. I know you have to find your own food a lot.”

SJ: The food in the freezer is raw, I hardly think it’s appropriate to put raw meat where he will eat it.”

At this point I went to my room and got on the phone until the kids were asleep so I could do the Santa thing. I finally got all of the gifts arranged and came out to find she had put all of her gifts in front of the Santa gifts. Oh dear. The little things to a Narcissist are like the himalayas. Let HER climb that mountain. I am exhausted.

Christmas Train-ride to Hell

I decided to invite my parents to go with me and my kids on a Santa Train ride. I INVITED them to go on Saturday night. My Mom informs me that they have a “very important social event…So and So’s Winter Wonderland Wedding…to attend” but they can go Sunday. I have plans for Sunday night with my (reunited) boyfriend, so I plan on Sunday afternoon.

Sunday Morning Phone call to Mama:

SJ: Hey so I am planning on going at !:30, so we will meet at your house.

M: Oh. (Sigh.) I thjought we were going when we could see things.

SJ: What? We can’t see at 2:00?

M: Well, we can see some things, but we will miss all the lights.

SJ: I have plans tonight, but it’s kinda grey, so I think it will be fine. Besides, I planned to go LAST night.

Fast forward 4 hours:

M: It’s too bad we can’t see the lights from this train.

The baby: I see lights! They’re pretty.

1 Hour later on the train ride back from Santa’s Village:

M: Look at these lights, they are gorgeous! (It’s dark now.) Just imagine what the ride in would have looked like.

SJ: Ummm I can see the other side because we are just across a lake, in fact, the words over there are turned so we see them here.

M: I feel like I missed half the fun.

SJ: (Internal thought) I feel like I missed ALL of the fun. LOL 🙂

Upon Arrival at the Station where we find out there is a 2.5 hour wait to ride the train:

Dad: Look at all these people

M: I heard the lady say there were 200 girl scouts!

D: It’s packed.

M: I am SO glad I decided we should come when we did. This would have been miserable at night!

*GONG!!!!*  

Oh dear. I hope y’all enjoy these exchanges as much as I enjoy sharing them! I have to admit that instead of getting really irritated, I found myself thinking: Hey this is great for my blog!

Keep giggling!

❤ Jilly

 

Whomp! Hair it is!

My shower and sinks have been backing up and overflowing for seven months. I still have an ex-husband who doesn’t pay child support, so I can’t afford a plumber. My garbage disposal no longer works due to whatever is causing the plumbing issues. My Dad came over, looked at it and announced that he didn’t know what the problem is, but that a disposal is a luxury that a single Mom doesn’t really need. {Huh?!} So, for 7 months I have had leaves, dirt, bugs and random items come up through ALL of my drains and fill the bathtubs, shower and sinks. READ: A big ol’mess!  My boyfriend has been coming over and helping me repair things that have been ignored by my family. So, in true form…I come home to see a bottle of liquid plumber-like stuff on the kitchen cabinet. My family only comes to help if there is a threat of being embarasssed publically. So, for my boyfriend to notice that they are enjoying me living at a lesser standard than they are…. is…. well…..embarassing. Therefore, the sudden repair effort.  

Mama’s phone call:

Scenario: She HATES my hair. She likes it short, I like it long. This is a battle that originated in the 3rd grade when my Dad made the fatal mistake of mentioning how beautiful my hair was long. Within hours, it was barely a couple of inches off my scalp. Mama has to be the center of beauty in the world.

Message: Your Hair is awful and so are you

Mama: “Hey your Dad and your brother came over to fix your plumbing problem. It’s your hair. They cleaned out the drains, but it was ALL your hair. You know how long your hair is and it all falls out everywhere. They won’t be able to fix your disposal, so I guess you can blame your hair on that.”

Me: “Ok well tell them thanks.”

Mama: “Were you asleep?!”

Me: “Yeah, when the DR. increased my medicine, it made me sleepy.”

Mama: “I don’t know how you take all that medicine. I would cut back on that if I were you.”

Me: “Well, YOUR  Dr is the one who prescribed it. I am not taking a lot of medication. (?!) I am not sure what you mean by that.”

Mama: “Well let me let you go back to your usual afternoon nap. I know how all your medicine makes you sleepy. I guess your hair has ruined your plumbing. Thank goodness your Dad and your brother can get stuff like that cleaned out.”

Commentary: Oh geez, I can’t imagine life without a perfect Dad and Brother. Also, note to self: Check on how my hair effects the economy and global warming and gays.